“Lions don’t waste energy. Roar. Hunt. Eat. Fuck. Sleep. Be a lion.”

— Carlos, a genius movie theater projectionist, about to lose his job

11:39 am  •  26 May 2012  •  11 notes

“We should all turn off our televisions and close our laptops and go outside and move our limbs and play with each other and laugh and smooch and wrestle, because we are all going to be dead in what will seem like 45 minutes and we are going to stay that way until the end of an infinite number of forevers.

Have a great weekend!”

— Dave Holmes

2:14 pm  •  20 April 2012  •  1,089 notes

“His favorite activities are riding his bike and shooting his guns.”

— Overheard while passing by the TV as an episode of Dog The Bounty Hunter was playing

4:05 pm  •  28 February 2012  •  3 notes

“I like smooth shiny girls, hardboiled and loaded with sin.”

— Raymond Chandler (Farewell, My Lovely)

(Source: criminalwisdom)

6:21 pm  •  26 January 2012  •  109 notes

In 1958, the great American writer John Steinbeck received a letter from his son, Thom. His son was in love. This is an excerpt from his reply. Letters of Note has the whole thing.

“There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had…

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good…

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”

10:10 am  •  11 January 2012  •  22 notes

“There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.”

— Old Cowboy Proverb

4:07 pm  •  23 December 2011  •  18 notes

“No one knows everything. Only God… And Santa.”

— Another jem from Jimmy, age 4

10:37 am  •  26 November 2011  •  12 notes

“When does “drunk sex” become “date rape”?”

— Some dude out at a bar tonight, contemplating the consequences to his night, while his date visits the restroom.

12:40 am  •  24 November 2011  •  6 notes

“How can I be pregnant if I’ve never had sex?”

— Some quote I just heard in the eye doctor’s office, used during the radio promo for tonight’s “controversial” and all-new episode of House, which I will watch on Hulu, on a drunken afternoon to be named later this week, probly Friday.

11:54 am  •  21 November 2011  •  5 notes

“The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in shock-proof shit-detector.”

— Ernest Hemingway

(Source: gointothestory.blcklst.com)

2:01 pm  •  14 November 2011  •  11 notes

“And the breeze has been taking control of their balls.”

— Some probly drunk news anchor lady, on the difficulty college basketball players are having while practicing for tonight’s game, to be played outdoors on the USS Carl Vinson, the aircraft carrier that dropped Osama bin Laden’s body at sea, in honor of Veterans Day

12:26 pm  •  11 November 2011  •  6 notes