COMPLETELY NUTTY
it's too late;
the suburbs are dead.
but i'm pretty sure
i'm still useful.
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i was chatting with nicky about how j wellington wimpy is just basically wc fields with a penchant for cheeseburgers instead of liquor and mocha java and i’ll never forget how i have this book she gave me about william claude and his filmic follies because it’s like a bible to me and i praise her and j-hov everytime i open its pages and recite its text and laugh the good laugh HAHAHAHAHA snap back to reality o there goes my mind do you like the american television program about the doctor gregory house I DO there’s a muted marathon on my boob tube i’m not really watching who am i kidding I’M LOVIN IT i bet jack nicholson would’ve been a great house if it was a movie in the mid-seventies nobody better steal my idea i’ve got it ©OPYW®ITERED™
2:50 pm • 25 April 2012 • 8 notes
not only am i totally looking forward to seeing one for the money but i am totally crushing on katherine heigl and her marilyn monroe haircut and her SEVEN dogs and this two page article on her in this usa weekend from last friday that josh kelley is a lucky man on many fronts but hay we can’t win ‘em all we can damn well try our hardest i’m feeling like a million bucks today AND I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD A CHEESEBURGER YET o well the day is young and the night is far and my battery is dying but i continue trudging on in this world i went on another job interview yesterday and this one i really truly 100% completely feel like i could be full-time employed by friday yesterday the president spoke of jobs and reforms and rhetoric and all i could think of was blondes and cheeseburgers and a steady income to set me free and sunsets on the pacific ocean horizon and how many movies i can see in a movie theater in a day SIX the sky is blue here the cats are purring here the mood is glowing here women no longer need makeup to look as beautiful as they feel inside here breathing is a thing of the past here cheeseburgers are currency here and my pockets are en fuego CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
10:05 am • 25 January 2012 • 11 notes
listening to wye oak waiting for the 750 to take me to happiness is a pleasant reminder that there are beautiful things in this world few and far and between baited breaths you feel them deep in yr gut and yr heart and yr crazy double-speak mind they’re there it’s great it’s wonderful it’s marvelous it’s beginning to look a lot like new years everywhere i look i see FOR LEASE and AVAILABLE and NOT FOR YOU MIKE and GET ON THE BUS and ride it to the end of the line GOOD THING YOU STOPPED AT BEV MO BEFORE BOARDING it’s five o’clock in st. louis or chicago or dubai and i’m ready for life liberty and the pursuit of love and words and lobsters and backbeat drum kits and sleeping giants and dreams of duck boots and shawl cardigans and clouds but all i see is blue like my eyes AND ALL IS WELL IN THE WORLD lol really i cannot complain so don’t listen brethren ok listen PLEASE THANKS MERRY MARY
3:12 pm • 28 December 2011 • 8 notes
Gratutitous Picture Of Yourself and Walpaper and Suburbanmike and LifeofBK and SeanMObrien Shooting A Very Drink with Dave Christmas Wednesday
“WORKING”
someone sent me a message saying they were sad that i haven’t been posting soc style lately but i’ve been busy living my life to the best of my abilities and i’ve been occupying city hall for the 99 percent that can’t and i’ve been wandering the streets searching for a job any job ANY JOB and recently i’ve been leaking fluids from my nostrils and mouth gross i know i live an exciting life i was reading henry miller last night before the benadryl kicked me off to slumberland and he referred to broadway in nyc as a “cunty cleft of a street” and i thought from what i remember that’s pretty accurate although i was 16 the last time i walked down broadway and it did smell a little funky last night i dreamed i was in a vicious argument with my father about which band was better the guess who or the who i don’t think we ever resolved it i was obviously leaning toward the who i’m pretty sure he was also 5 BUCKS TO THE PERSON WHO NOTICES WHAT’S DIFFERENT IN THE PICTURE ok not 5 bucks but maybe something equivalent like a coupon for an outlaw burger from jack in the box FREE BURGERS
you ever have one of those conversations where everything you hear you take completely out of context and everything you do or say is completely wrong and everything bad that you have possibly thought of in the recesses of yr mind sneak out of the alexandre dumas dungeon you’ve kept them in and said thoughts make their way to yr brain and yr tongue and yr lips and luckily by the grace of karma it just so happens that the person yr speaking with is on the same page and so enveloped in their own dark place that nothing gets heard nothing even gets said except GOODNIGHT and BON VOYAGE and EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY and WHAT ARE YOU WEARING FOR HALLOWEEN SINCE IT IS LIKE A MONTH AWAY AND THERE ARE ALL THOSE PARTIES WE’RE INVITED TO AND YOU KNOW I CAN’T WEAR THE SAME COSTUME TO EVERY PARTY SO LET’S FIGURE IT OUT TOMORROW OR MAYBE THIS WEEKEND and you close yr eyes and slumber forever or at least an eternity and maybe you’ll eventually wake up hopefully next to a smiling animal free of all bondage and filled with hopes and dreams and a pounding headache like yr own and a skipping record singing all will be well all will be well all will be well JUST KEEP AT IT like a drumroll like pizza dough like a mantra like a prayer like prey like you and me and the bottle and lactose-free cheese makes four too many it’s wednesday and i haven’t had my cheeseburger yet O WELL it’s never too late to say never never too late to put on yr glasses like mike and jump from the free throw line into infinity just make sure to keep yr tongue in yr mouth DON’T BITE IT
5:31 pm • 28 September 2011 • 11 notes
never shaving never giving a rat tail never hootin and hollerin unless she’s asking for it never swallowing never eating anything “vegan” without a good reason never failing never not trying never falling for that one again never being without my notebook never saying no always saying yes kinda sorta probly maybe ok definitely smiling whenever i have a reason to never not drinking or eating cheeseburgers or feeling fly on a windy day or a sunny day never not sunny in los angeles i don’t know about philadelphia i’ve never been i hear they have a killer baseball team i’ve seen them live they got a couple guys REAL NASTY STUFF sometimes i wish i had kept playing baseball i could make a real great bat boy for the area 51s O WELL one time we were all destined to be kings and queens and/or both or maybe just princes and princesses and/or fairies AND ALL WAS WELL IN THE WORLD i think that time is coming back there’s a resurgence of youthful exuberance and teenage naiveté and elder experience mixed together so grab a partner and get on the dance floor LET’S GROOVE TONIGHT
it’s hot and hell is dark and where my dogs at WOOF WOOF what ever happened to dmx and his growling voice and mysterious attitude and bald head i think he served jail time he should have served cheeseburgers and fries and milkshakes HIS LOSS i’m sweating and in need of a real hard punch and a real hot burger and a real stimulating vocation and a real long vacation but in the mean time i’m working on my latest masterpiece theatre presentation it’s a one-man stage show with comedy and drama and music and lights and cameras and actions the preview show already got great reviews from a well established critic but he loves anything avant-garde and grand guignol and this is definitely both RESERVE YR TICKETS NOW
i got a haircut and a change of position in my room but i didn’t change my shirt WHO CARES it still smells great maybe that’s because i washed it today maybe not IRRELEVANT i’m going to the picture show tonight good thing i’m colorblind because the film’s in black and white and we’ll all see the same thing ROME isn’t baseball a magnificent sport nine dudes in tight pants tossing a ball no larger than a fist to each other for hours in the sun while nine other dudes swing a piece of wood at said ball and then run around in a squared circle until their daddy calls them out for being too slow I’M SORRY I WASN’T ATHLETIC DAD IT’S NOT MY FAULT I WAS BORN TO DANCE don’t forget suburban dialogue tomorrow :)
i’m not ready for the future i’m not ready for the past i’m definitely not ready for any sort of jelly now jam on the other hand i could get down on if you ever see me in person ask me the difference between jam and jelly I KNOW THE SECRET we are all products of our thoughts which is crazy because i have some weird thoughts lately like garlic ice cream wouldn’t that be awesome i’ve had wasabi ice cream and it wasn’t that bad o well IT WAS ALL A DREAM i used to read but now i write or listen to books on tape or lectures in the car or npr or old-timey radio plays on that am station on fridays at 8 those are cool WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN i do
