Get inked already.
I did.
12:28 pm • 29 May 2012 • 13 notes
it's too late;
the suburbs are dead.
but i'm pretty sure
i'm still useful.
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i’m fully awake and aroused and amused by my clean skin on my face and the lack of razor burn thanks to the jack black beard lube my partner in crime and punishment got me she likes my face like a baby’s butt actually maybe she just likes it smooth i hope she doesn’t like baby’s butts i’ll have to ask her butt anyway it’s not made by THAT jack black but if it was that’d be cool too as long as it provided the same comfortable shave treatment before during after and beyond that this lube does MOVING ON UP to the northwest my neck NOT PICTURED is still sunburned from saturday’s wonderful excursion to the strawberry festival which will become an annual tradition in this ____ life i lead FILL IN THE BLANC DE NOIRS i’ve been staring at this picture since i received wind of it via chat at ten o’clock this morning well i’ve had the tab open on my browser AND IT’S NOT GETTING CLOSED EVER
this rambling blog post complete with chill self-portrait is brought to you by jack black beard lube conditioning shave with jojoba and eucalyptus oils
4:27 pm • 22 May 2012 • 9 notes
Saturday - 0 5 1 9
Nicky and I went to Oxnard College on Saturday for the California Strawberry Festival.
We arrived just after 11:30, parking on an asphalt basketball court, and instantly, imperceptibly, joined the sapphire sky from the confines of the car. Tickets were still easily accessible and exchanged hands post-haste. A junior Brian Scalabrine tore said tickets prior to entry. I could tell by his rosy cheeks and dewy forehead he was not having fun so I reminded him that it was a beautiful Saturday. He smiled, still dripping sweat. I couldn’t help there. A cover band made up of aging, inked, FMX dads jammed reggae covers of Sublime songs upon our entrance. We knew we were in the right place.
First thing was first: food. There were spiral cut fries with deep fried strawberries, strawberry nachos on graham cracker chips, strawberry pizza, strawberry kebobs. We went with strawberry-less Bud Lights and sausages, Italian and Hot Link. We shared a table with single (older) ladies discussing the surprising lack of racism in Arkansas and the covert racism in California. The topic of homes with an acre of land came up. They’re under $50k there. Hmmm…
9:43 pm • 21 May 2012 • 11 notes
Mike likes cats and aliens. Ask anyone.
AND CHEESEBURGERS AND BEERS AND NEW EXPERIENCES AND DISAPPEARING ACTS AND THIS WONDERFUL FEELING CALLED LOVE
life is a temperamental state filled with creatures and light and energy and GEE GOLLY it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood people are out sirens are blazing buffalo wings horses are hoofing derbys are hats worn with pride and this dog keeps farting in his sleep FUNKY BOY
you always feel GOOD when you look GOOD in some new threads RIGHT so when i say I LOOK GOOD in my brand spanking new high logic clothing limited edition tee i’m not being facetious or flippant or conceited or narcissistic I’M BEING TRUTHFUL marilyn monroe seemed like a superfun kinda lady someone who was graceful under the pressure of hot lights and cameras and action during the day yet down to skinny dip in a lake at midnight by herself just to feel feelings and see stars one might say she invented “duck face” THAT’S NOT ME i never knew her at all sad she was assassinated though the world needed/needs more joyful people in it it’s a shame that it seemed to me like she lived her life like a candle on the window sill FOR REAL i was just a kid in a china shop when i first saw her but BOY i could tell she was a WOMAN
i was chatting with nicky about how j wellington wimpy is just basically wc fields with a penchant for cheeseburgers instead of liquor and mocha java and i’ll never forget how i have this book she gave me about william claude and his filmic follies because it’s like a bible to me and i praise her and j-hov everytime i open its pages and recite its text and laugh the good laugh HAHAHAHAHA snap back to reality o there goes my mind do you like the american television program about the doctor gregory house I DO there’s a muted marathon on my boob tube i’m not really watching who am i kidding I’M LOVIN IT i bet jack nicholson would’ve been a great house if it was a movie in the mid-seventies nobody better steal my idea i’ve got it ©OPYW®ITERED™
2:50 pm • 25 April 2012 • 8 notes
toby is upset because he wants to sleep to dream probly about paper bags or lana del rey in a black and gold lamé cocktail dress or “green technology” and all i want to do is wish my lady a safe trip up norte and plan my next cheeseburger meal for later and finish up my set for tonight IT’S GONNA BE FUN erika is taking over the booth for some grrl-powerr jamz in the 11 o’clock hour and i’ll be spinning a ton of fun stuff like the byrds and the brian jonestown massacre and squeeze and mayer hawthorne and now, now and white denim and sam the sham & the pharaohs and the unicorns and zipper like i just said IT’S GONNA BE FUN ok off to slumberville POPULATION 2
did you know in the last three-plus years the country of iceland went from bankruptcy and nationalized banks and government resignation and refusal of debt repayments and protests in the street to a re-write of their constitution and exile and soon-to-be-incarceration of the people responsible for their financial collapse and eventual bankruptcy of the entire government in a relatively peaceful and SILENT revolution and did you know i’ve eaten a hot dog for lunch for the past four days in a row and did you know angels are aliens or vice-versa and did you know four quarters makes a basketball game and did you know a dollar buys you a taquito at 7-11 on tuesdays and did you know i have a japanese medlar tree in my backyard NO YOU DIDN’T
