1:10 pm • 29 May 2012 • 1 note
hi there
it's too late;
the suburbs are dead.
but i'm pretty sure
i'm still useful.
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Get inked already.
I did.

12:28 pm • 29 May 2012 • 13 notes
COMING SOON TO A CARL’S JR./HARDEE’S NEAR YOU
THE AMAZING GRILLED CHEESE BACON BURGER
Okay, so it might be cheesily (pun intended) tied in with the opening of The Amazing Spiderman, but, LOOK AT IT! Comfort food at its most accessible.
Unfortunately, this commercial is kinda weak.
CHEESEBURGERWEDNESDAY IS BACK
i was chatting with nicky about how j wellington wimpy is just basically wc fields with a penchant for cheeseburgers instead of liquor and mocha java and i’ll never forget how i have this book she gave me about william claude and his filmic follies because it’s like a bible to me and i praise her and j-hov everytime i open its pages and recite its text and laugh the good laugh HAHAHAHAHA snap back to reality o there goes my mind do you like the american television program about the doctor gregory house I DO there’s a muted marathon on my boob tube i’m not really watching who am i kidding I’M LOVIN IT i bet jack nicholson would’ve been a great house if it was a movie in the mid-seventies nobody better steal my idea i’ve got it ©OPYW®ITERED™
2:50 pm • 25 April 2012 • 8 notes
Eating cheeseburgers with my grandfather after a two hour trip to his doctor reminds me what is really important in life.
not only am i totally looking forward to seeing one for the money but i am totally crushing on katherine heigl and her marilyn monroe haircut and her SEVEN dogs and this two page article on her in this usa weekend from last friday that josh kelley is a lucky man on many fronts but hay we can’t win ‘em all we can damn well try our hardest i’m feeling like a million bucks today AND I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD A CHEESEBURGER YET o well the day is young and the night is far and my battery is dying but i continue trudging on in this world i went on another job interview yesterday and this one i really truly 100% completely feel like i could be full-time employed by friday yesterday the president spoke of jobs and reforms and rhetoric and all i could think of was blondes and cheeseburgers and a steady income to set me free and sunsets on the pacific ocean horizon and how many movies i can see in a movie theater in a day SIX the sky is blue here the cats are purring here the mood is glowing here women no longer need makeup to look as beautiful as they feel inside here breathing is a thing of the past here cheeseburgers are currency here and my pockets are en fuego CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
10:05 am • 25 January 2012 • 11 notes
I’ve been busy working for the past few days, but not busy enough to neglect Cheeseburger Appreciation Month. And today, Scoutmob came through with a solid deal for an ugly day.
If you aren’t aware of Scoutmob, get aware.
They offer location-specific deals like Groupon (minus the shareholder liabilities) and are completely mobile-based. That means great deals brought to you with witty copy and unstifled creativity, immediate access to said savings, and it’s completely free until you redeem it at the location.
Added bonus: Every time you sign in to a Scoutmob participating location with yr linked Foursquare account, it notifies you about the sweet deal going down. And as we all know: sweet deals are sweet.
Along with having deals literally at yr fingers, there’s no need to purchase anything in advance. Just show up and save. HOW EASY IS THAT?
Also, they’re hiring a ton of positions all across the country, if yr still on the market.
Do yrself a favor and sign up for their tasty bacn.
In regards to today’s weather, I’m not gonna call Albert Hammond or Tony! Toni! Toné! a liar, but…
10:48 am • 23 January 2012 • 4 notes
best ten minutes of your whole day, Kelly Lasserre, 2012
(via stickyisaslut)
11:01 am • 19 January 2012 • 7 notes
10:03 am • 17 January 2012 • 15 notes
Further reflection revealed that it’s quite impractical—nearly impossible—to make a cheeseburger from scratch. Tomatoes are in season in the late summer. Lettuce is in season in spring and fall. Large mammals are slaughtered in early winter. The process of making such a burger would take nearly a year, and would inherently involve omitting some core cheeseburger ingredients. It would be wildly expensive—requiring a trio of cows—and demand many acres of land. There’s just no sense in it.
A cheeseburger cannot exist outside of a highly developed, post-agrarian society. It requires a complex interaction between a handful of vendors—in all likelihood, a couple of dozen—and the ability to ship ingredients vast distances while keeping them fresh. The cheeseburger couldn’t have existed until nearly a century ago as, indeed, it did not.
”— Waldo Jaquith, on the impracticality of the cheeseburger, and how 20th century industry and technology made the greatest handheld meal possible