John Steinbeck, on the topic of Love

In 1958, the great American writer John Steinbeck received a letter from his son, Thom. His son was in love. This is an excerpt from his reply. Letters of Note has the whole thing.

“There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had…

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good…

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”

Source: lettersofnote.com